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When she found the right person, she did not take them for granted.She nurtured and fostered the relationship, and it very quickly blossomed. Andrea was not ready to start dating until she was done with her grieving process around her ex-partner.She was lonely, but she also had self-esteem issues and didn’t like her body. She complained that she was too old, too fat, too…. Martha had some work to do around shifting her attitude.She decided to join a gym, found a trainer she liked, and started getting her body back in shape.
I know it can feel like swimming through molasses at times but it works.While older men are still often conveyed as sexy and desirable, older women are usually given a shelf life.While it seems to be common and socially acceptable for older men to date younger women, an older woman dating a younger guy is called a “cougar.” Why aren’t men given derogatory nicknames for doing the same thing a woman does?She also paid closer attention to what she was feeding herself. She went back into therapy to address her fear of rejection. Martha tells me: She is a good example of someone who put some effort into shifting her attitude about herself, and it paid off.Pretty soon she started to feel better about herself and more confident. She put a picture and a profile on a dating site for 50 people called She tells me that when she is with her lover she feels like a teenager again.
Most of my relationships were what I call, unconscious entanglements; two dysfunctional people meeting and partnering quickly.