Dating after loosing a spouse
In cases of lengthy terminal illness, it's not unusual for a new relationship to blossom even before the partner dies.And although this new relationship can be a great comfort, it can also be the source of deep guilt.Hopefully, many will be pleased that you have found happiness again.But there may be jealousy from other friends who have been on their own for longer.Certainly, new romances won't go well if a grieving person is avoiding the pain of bereavement by immediately replacing one partner with another.Recovering from a loved-one's death is just not that easy.Sometimes friends or family will get impatient if you're not 'over it' after six months.At other times, you can get a strong sense that some individuals think you are hard-hearted because you appear to have got over the death quickly. None of us should judge anyone else about how they are coping.
But there are exceptions to this rule – particularly in cases where it was widely known that the marriage wasn’t very happy.Even so, it can be helpful to use these stages as a rough guide to help you to understand sudden difficult emotions such as anger.Recognise too that these emotions are part of a process, and that most other people also feel them.You may also have serious difficulties with your own sons and daughters.If your children are still living at home, they will be affected by any new relationship.
In such a situation, it's wise not to be blatant about your new love until your children are more ready to accept the idea.